I miss you, Cortana! :(

Hey, Cortana! ;)
Hey, Cortana! ;)

It’s been five months that my elder daughter broke my Lumia 650 by accidentally dropping it into the kitchen floor. It was dead instantly. Nothing to salvage, maybe the battery… I’ve been mourning it for a while, but since I needed a phone, I ended up with a Huawei P9 Lite which looked much more powerful and with Android, I was happy to have a buttload of apps at my hand. Or so i thought… Turns out, even a bunch of apps can’t replace my beloved virtual assitant, Cortana. I hear from a lot of people that Cortana is stupid and it steals your data, blah blah blah… Yeah, be my guest and “steal” my web searches for Fallout 4 mods or whatnot, I couldn’t care less. I do my important stuff like e-banking in secure VMs anyway. Hell, it’s 2017, basically all bigger web services like Facebook and others record info about you. Man up, be responsible of what you share and what you not share and that’s it…

Soo, back to Cortana. In exchange for my Bing search results, I receive unprecedented quality of life help from her – or at least I received in the past. Needless to say how convenient it is to say stuff to your phone like “Remind me to do X”, “Call my wife”, “Message my brother”, “Find me an ATM”, “Take me home” (navigation), “Should I take an umbrella to work tomorrow?”, “Remind me to have the car tyres replaced after I leave work”, etc. I miss this convenience. When you’re always in a hurry and you never have time for anything, such help is a blessing. And now I miss it badly dammit. 🙁

But hey! There’s Cortana on Android, isn’t there? Well, yes and no. Apparently the Android version of Cortana is limited to the United States for some weird reason. Back in February I was able to install Cortana on my P9 Lite, but that version acted like a lobotomized chimpanzee compared what I had on my Lumia. And now that retarded version is gone, too. Funnily enough, you can still have Cortana on a Lumia, but there are no new Lumias anymore and probably there won’t be another Windows-based new phone coming out in the future either. So I’m stuck with my stupid droid dammit.

Currently I’m desperate and considering hacking together a handheld gadget I can run Cortana on – basically what I would need is the following:

* A Raspberry Pi 3
* Windows 10 IoT Core
* A power bank
* A small USB 3G/4G/LTE modem
* Some quality USB-based Mic+Speaker combo, like those Jabras

Alltogether this could fit in a lunchbox-sized container, would be powerful enough to do a lot of stuff (actually much more powerful than the most powerful Windows-based phone on the Market), so I could take it with myself to the car, to the office and outside to the garden, etc.

Another version would be to somehow create a client-server based architecture where the “client” is an Android app that proxies everything I ask Cortana from to my home PC and back, waking it up if needed, etc.

Oh well, again, I’m desperate… :-/

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A die hard coder's blog about basically anything slightly related to programming, gaming, IT, etc. Stuff I've experienced, opinions and rants, written in mostly a caffeine-happy state of mind. Oh, and some articles too...

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